One of the best books on the subject of legal abuse in the area of family law is Divorced from Justice. This 1996 book by New York reporter Karen Winner explores “The abuse of women and children by divorce lawyers and judges.” Though Winner acknowledges that there are good lawyers and judges, she also provides troubling evidence of how, too often, lawyers and judges harm the very people they are supposed to be helping.

 Another book of interest is Legal Abuse Syndrome, by abuse counselor Karin Huffer. This 1995 book points to evidence that some victims of legal abuse suffer lasting emotional harm, and, in some cases, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Huffer helps legal abuse victims to understand their feelings, and provides steps victims can take toward healing and recovery.

Book review of "All But My Soul: Abuse Beyond Control"

by Jeanne I. King, Ph.D.

Reviewed by Kathryn Kazan
Flagstaff Resident

 It is difficult for partners, parents, mental health professionals and most decent people to even believe, much less understand the pervasive, shameless nature of the Abuse Dynamic. But those who are motivated by greed and the need to control master this dynamic without even thinking about it. Those who have mastered this dynamic ruin children's lives without missing a wink of sleep. Meanwhile the parents who try to protect their children from this dynamic feel bottomless guilt when they fail.

 Dr. King tells a true story of domestic and legal abuse.  She taught me the invaluable lesson that these two are not separate issues.  Dr. King lost custody and all contact with her three children to a man who physically and emotionally tortured them. 

 Her title page reads, "The domestic violence to the author and her children referenced in this book is contained in public court records.  The court proceedings are also within the public domain and are contained within the same court records.  The facts of this story are in the public domain for anyone to review".

 King taught me how a well-intended parent, holding facts, photos, and the best interests of the children can be manipulated by abusers within the home, and then within the legal system.  Abuse dynamics are abuse dynamics.

 A domestic violence victim can't change her abuser with couples therapy, patience, love, hope, prayer, good intentions or any other strategy.

 By the same token, a legal abuse victim can't change legal abuse within the legal system.  The legal abusers have all the cards.  They know all the ploys. They know the timing and when to punch.

 All divorce lawyers are not abusive, but the divorce and custody industry is a predatory one. Emotionally distraught and scared parents make particularly juicy prey.

 The abuse dynamic eludes our intellect because it is primal in nature.  In psychological terms, it is a wound of primal "human-object relations."  It begins when there is an unsuccessful transition in the individual from the narcissism of  toddlerhood to the empathy and awareness of others as separate human beings of healthy adulthood.

 Babies and toddlers experience other humans as need-fulfilling or need-frustrating objects.  Their developmental job is to see how much control they have over these objects.   Abusers are developmentally arrested.  They have elevated this infantile developmental task to an art form.  They start mastering their craft innocently enough very, very young.  They learn to control potentially need-fulfilling objects (people).  They expect these objects to be need-gratifying; they punish them when they're frustrating; and they'll lull them back with award winning displays of remorse, promises and (fleeting) insight when they fear abandonment.  (Toddlers are terrified of being abandoned). Dr. King’s story illustrates this classic pattern seen in many abusers, as do the painful stories of countless other mothers (and many fathers as well).

 I'd finally grasped the profile of the abuser, but, until I read Dr. King's book, I hadn't made the leap of understanding required to see how this profile infiltrates entire legal systems.

 In the book's preface, Evelyn Eman Delmar, Executive Director of Children Remembered writes "To whom it may concern:

"...This is clearly a case that needs a courageous, highly skilled and experienced, committed legal expert who understands the nuances and implications of domestic violence of a wife and children, and who is free of the local interdependence of the rich and politically connected in the Chicago community. 

  I implore you to review the materials provided by Jeanne King and accept the case for the sake of Bradley, David and Marc Blumenthal and endangered children everywhere.  Do not let Jeanne King become another Nicole Brown Simpson. Do not let Bradley, David and Marc become orphans or murder victims."

 Thanks to Dr. King’s book, I have a newfound understanding of the abuse dynamic and how it can be found, not only in the home, but in the domestic legal system as well. Thanks to my understanding, I feel compelled to tell others what I have learned. The lessons of Dr. King’s book must not sit idly on a bookshelf. They must be spread far and wide in the court of public awareness. Only then will we stand a chance of turning the tide against the abusers. 

 Dr. King wrote this book at a feverish pace in the hope of getting it into the hands of someone who could help her children as soon as possible. Consequently, the book has a riveting immediacy that makes it especially compelling. Most readers will likely be too busy turning the pages to notice the typos King missed in her haste.

 Kathryn L. Kazan, MSSW, CISW

 For more about this book, visit www.allbutmysoul.net